Hope you and your husband have had and will continue to have many more lovely low-key birthdays to come. As we get older, the more we cherish the simple everyday moments and realise they are the best kind of moments. A definite theme of the list seems to be taking actions to avoid the celebration of your birthday, like being more introverted that day or removing yourself and your birthday from social media.
You do bring up a good idea there, that feelings about our birthday changes, and it could change as we go through different phases in life. I think quite a few of us feel more stressed leading up to these moments, feeling like we have to live up to expectations when we do not.
Hope you are well Thomas. These are all very easy to accomplish for the older birthday. All excellent suggestions! Having lost close friends and family much younger than myself each year is a blessing and one I want to celebrate. Yet I strongly believe people should be allowed to mark the day of their birth as they wish and for this be respected by others.
It was an unusual birthday over here this year, but one that I enjoyed a lot. I am all apprehensive about these birthday celebrations now. But I do like the delicious croissant photos, and unlike Tiny Helen I think eating them would be even better.
You and me are alike, Hien. My son thinks exactly like this. He hates celebrating his birthday, although will consent to going out for a dinner.
It is sad that he thinks others think the same, as he rarely acknowledges our birthdays. I hope your day was just as you wanted it to be, Mabel. So pleased that you had a good day, Mabel. I doubt that my son will change. He turns 30 this year…. Great post Mabel. That is so true. Mabel, did I miss your birthday? Happy Birthday! Great post! My birthday was earlier this month and it was a good one. That is so nice. Have a blessed day. Mabel I must tell you that Dave and I used to throw huge parties for big birthdays.
I had a massive surprise party for him when he turned When he turned 50 I managed to arrange to have three different friends arrive from different locations in the world as a surprise. It was so much work and I had to lie SO much!
After that we moved to a very low key approach in celebrating birthdays. I used to love celebrating in a big way but not so much anymore. We do enjoy travel on our birthdays and since this is something we both enjoy it seems appropriate. You make some excellent points how people can inadvertently cause so much stress and anxiety for those who would prefer to have the day go unnoticed.
Hoping your birthdays ahead are just the kind of days you hope for. By the way I am drooling over your photos of the baked goods. Gorgeous food photography. A lot of these online magazines I read always block the screen after a few clicks and will not let me see more articles unless I create an account. Also, on that day, I will walk into the Pokemon Center and all these balloons will fall and the Nurse will wish me a Happy Birthday.
Fair enough if you want to use a fake birthday when the online world asks for it. It looks so yum. On my birthday I spend my whole day with my family. It's for other people, and for a community to gather Do you actively dislike socializing or celebrating anything on the day of your birthday? Or do you just find the idea of a bunch of people throwing a party in your honor is uncomfortable and anxiety provoking?
If it's the former, then yeah, pull your closest friend aside and tell them directly that this is a difficult day for you, you are not interested in celebrating, and you definitely don't want a party. There's nothing ungracious about this. You have to gather up the courage to be vulnerable with them and say it directly. If the latter, maybe it can be solved by a managing your anxiety?
IDK how you prefer to do it, mindfulness or breathing or medication or having a friend whom you can lean on? Assuming the anxiety isn't severe, there's something to be said for confronting it head on, staring anxiety down, and not allowing anxiety to control your access to fun things in life?
YMMV, just a suggestion. You can think of it as "the excuse my friends are using to throw ourselves a party after a long, hard year. If you don't want presents, you can tell people that you're collecting donations for your chosen charity or cause.
If you don't want anyone singing happy birthday to you, you can say with your tongue in cheek, "I love you all dearly but y'all sound like screeching monkeys when you sing so let's skip the birthday song and just eat cake! The reason they think you're lying and being modest is because you proposed a "group" birthday party. If you actually want that thing, then my dude, you just signed yourself up for party-planning duty.
Because they are not picking up what you thought you were laying down. If you actually want to be left the fuck alone, at this point you're gonna have to sit the worst offender down and tell them flat out they need to knock it the hell off, because you weren't being modest about yourself you were trying to be indulgent to THEM, and now you don't much feel like it anymore since they fucked up so bad at being indulged. If you just want a solution to the whole deal let them plan the party and set the date and then you just plan yourself a nice little out-of-town vacation for that exact time and date whoopsie doodle!
You have my sympathies, birthdays are trash and parties are worse. My heart is not generous enough to be giving people the gift of the thing I like the least on my own birthday and any one who thinks that me exercising my free will on the one day a year that should belong to me and only me is a display of my apparent lack of love for them needs to take a long hard time out in the narcissist corner.
OP, let me tell you about my first Valentine's Day in college i. We went out on plenty of dates anyway, and doing something just because it was Valentine's Day just really made me uncomfortable.
He was like "ok. And so we were both mad. And when we got back I was like "why did we do this" and he finally copped that he had talked to his mother about it and his mom had told him that I was lying about not wanting to go out for Valentine's Day and that this was a test to see if he would be a good boyfriend. Never mind that his mom had never met me and knew nothing about me.
I was so pissed off. Anyway, you know yourself the best. It is OKAY to set boundaries and it is OKAY to spend your birthday however you want to spend it and other people can fuck right off with their opinions about it.
I generally do it by telling anybody who seems on the verge of threatening to organize a party that the best birthday present anybody could possibly give me is just forgetting about my birthday altogether. And when people get insistent that I must have a party, I just get really direct: "Thanks for thinking of me, and I'm sure that in your head a party is a nice thing and you're only trying to give me a nice thing, and I appreciate the kind thought, but seriously, the best party you could give me is no party at all.
I really really do not want to celebrate my birthday or mark it in any way or have it marked in any way and yes, I'm completely serious about that, as everybody else who is close to me already knows; so if somebody does throw a birthday party for me I won't come, and if somebody is selfish enough to inflict a surprise party on me I will immediately walk out and I will be fuming about it.
I'm not being shy. I'm not being modest. I'm not being coy or playing hard to get. I straight-up do not want a birthday party and I'd appreciate it if you'd also pass that on to anybody else who might be thinking of organizing one. Since I know for a fact that when I say I don't want one I mean every word, I'm more than happy to take others at theirs. I find that my life is generally simpler if I just believe people when they tell me what they want. I would be really frustrated with friends who did not accept my "no, I don't want to have a birthday party" at face value.
And I would never keep trying to throw a party for someone who had said no. It does sound like you've muddied the waters a little with the "maybe a group party" offer, so don't bring that one up again.
In your shoes I would stick to a firm, clear "No, thank you, it's kind of you to offer but I do not want to have a birthday party. It's for other people, and for a community to gather Sounds like a funeral. Which, if it's mine, I also plan not to attend.
All of that said, I really, genuinely dislike birthday parties, so while it's really kind of you to think of it, it would not be something that I would enjoy at all. Honestly, I might not even attend. But maybe your birthday causes a fear of getting older and facing your own mortality. This is a legitimate anxiety shared by many. One study found that birthday stress made people with a history of high blood pressure have a higher chance of having a stroke or heart attack on their birthday.
The study also mentions a woman who developed anxiety symptoms around her 75th birthday — because her mother had died at I try not to overplan things or cram too many events into one day. If someone goes to the trouble of wishing me a happy birthday or giving me a cake or gift, I try to accept it graciously and appreciate that people are thinking of me and wishing me well.
I also think about some of the benefits of getting older. A few studies have shown that there are perks that come with aging. One study in adults between ages 21 and found that there was an improvement in self-reported mental health in the older group.
Another study found that younger people were more neurotic, while older adults were more likely to demonstrate less negativity. You might have a better birthday if you take some time to reflect on why you dislike this day, what it means to you, and what you can do to make yourself at least dread it a little less. Take the day to volunteer in your community. Spending time in nature, hanging out with kids or pets, or getting exercise are also some good birthday-blues busters.
Let your child choose: Let your child decide what they would like to do on their birthday. Go shopping: If your child enjoys shopping, go the mall and treat them to what they wish for their birthday. Spa Day: Visit the spa and pamper your child to a nice massage or other fun activities. Click here to join our channel indianexpress and stay updated with the latest headlines. There are various things parents can do with them to make their special day a memorable one, besides throwing them a party.
Updated: February 22, am. Source: Getty Images By Lina Ashar Birthday parties, according to me, are overrated, with parents trying to outdo each other. The Indian Express website has been rated GREEN for its credibility and trustworthiness by Newsguard, a global service that rates news sources for their journalistic standards.
0コメント